My New Baby

Luke Austin Michael was born one week ago today. He is darling, has a pretty good temperament, and I love him so much.

My water broke last Sunday night. I called the DR who said to come in if they got to 5 minutes apart for an hour or at 5 am so they could induce contractions. Of course my body needed induction. Miguel was so antsy he could barely wait. We got the hospital at 5 and went right to a room. Our nurse was great. The DR saw me around 7 am and they started the Pitocin about 8 am. This meant my contractions were coming faster than normal and gained intensity quicker. It also meant that my uterus was not working hard enough, not contracting like it should be.

At some point after they started the meds, I threw up red jello. I KNEW I would get sick.

At 9:15 am I asked for an epidural. I was only 2 cm, but it hurt. I blame it on the Pitocin. The right side of my body got more of the epidural than the left because it sort of wore of in my abs and left thigh right before pushing time. But the epidural guy, an older man, was really good about it all. I felt sick again during that time and he waited patiently for me to heave nothing into the bucket. After I got the meds I drifted in and out of sleep a lot while my cervix was dilating.

The nurse made me use an oxygen mask for the last half of labor to help with baby's heart rate. They also had to use an internal device to effectively track my contractions. Normally it's done from the outside of the belly. I didn't leave the bed to walk or pee at all since I'd needed the drugs early and the device inside of me.

Miguel kept the parents updated and did really well during all of this. By about 3:30 pm I was fully dilated and feeling nauseous. I knew my nerves were getting to me because at one point I hoped that my cervix wouldn't dilate so I could just have a C-section and not have to push. I am SO glad that didn't happen. The nurse was the only one there and at 3:40 we were starting.

The delivery began like this: Nurse to Miguel, "Okay, you're going to take that leg and lift and push when the contractions start..." Miguel and I had not prepared for him to be a part of this or to even see that part of my doing that!! But I was glad he could help and I think he was happy to support me in that way. He even counted with the nurse and cheered me on. At one point I blew my pushing because he kept telling me I was doing a good job and it nearly made me laugh, so I asked him to just count and let the nurse cheer me on. It worked pretty good. They kept saying I was doing good but I know the first 20 minutes I pushed were useless. I tried to push like I had to poop but I couldn't feel anything except my head about to explode.

I need to insert here that at some point in the beginning of pushing I had my oxygen mask over my face in between pushes and said, "Luuuuke, I'm your mother," a la Star Wars. Then I laughed at myself. The nurse and Miguel humored me and laughed but the mood stayed light and was really not what I expected, which was good.

That is when the nurse and Miguel suggested I try using the mirror. So I kept breathing in my oxygen while she got a mirror and positioned it. At first I was grossed out by the thought and it also made me feel helpless cause I couldn't see what all my effort was for. But at least when I pushed I could see whether I was trying to push the bowling ball out of my butt and if my face was maroon from pushing wrong.

The DR showed up between 4:15 and 4:45 pm. I was so glad to get my DR and not the partner, although she would have been just as good. Dr. Brothers was great! She was encouraging but strict at the same time about my pushing and very enthusiastic when I did it right. She said my contractions weren't strong at all and that I did all the work, not my uterus. Yeah, I'd say I did all the work!! It was so weird to see the head crowning, and also disappointing because I was pushing so much and so little was coming out. The DR would talk to Luke and tell him he better be good and come out, and Miguel said she would tickle Luke's head as it was sitting there on the edge of the coming into the world. At a certain point I stopped using the mirror so I could close my eyes and concentrate on pushing. The whole time they had me pull my thighs toward me while they pushed against me. It just wasn't what I expected, but I didn't really know what to expect.

Around 5 o'clock they called for a baby nurse and the DR said she thought it would only take one more push. I thought, "Yeah right, you're being encouraging, so I'll just prepare myself to keep pushing." But the good Lord saved me from all but one more push. I pushed hard, eyes shut tight, and then she said, "Don't push anymore." She pulled him out and they placed him on my chest and kind of cleaned him up. I can't remember it all real well, but they wrapped him up and he was crying away. I mentioned that his head was so misshapen but I know it's normal. They took him to get measurements, do the Apgar test, and Miguel went with to watch and take pictures. The DR said I had a minor 2nd degree tear, which she did a good job of preventing worse, I watched in the mirror during delivery. She sewed me up and everyone made small talk while Luke wailed away. I looked over and said, "Is that the placenta?" She said yup, it looks like a liver. It was gross looking but I wanted to see what sustained life for my baby for all those months. Miguel saw the amniotic sac attached to it too.

So, after it was all said and done, Luke was born at 5:07 pm on Monday, August 17th, 2009.

He weighed 7 pounds, 9 ounces. He measured 19 3/4 inches long. He passed his Apgar test for reflexes and coloring. In fact, while in the hospital, he passed all the tests they performed on him.

It's so crazy to think of what I did to get him here. I know people do it every day but to do it and then look at him is so awesome. Besides the early contractions, I felt very little pain, nothing from my waist down. At one point during pushing the epidural ran out but they didn't refill it because it would be pointless and I needed to start feeling again. The whole day seemed more calm than expected and I decided that Luke would not be an only child. I could do this again- the worst part was morning sickness in the beginning of the pregnancy.

He is very cute and already making faces and looking around alert. He's breastfeeding well and finally sleeping well in his co-sleeper with us. It's all going better than expected but I'm sure I'll hit a breaking point soon. I'll just have to take it out on Miguel though. I may have forgotten some things, and I'll update or make a new post. Here are some pictures of my little baby.

More pictures, info about his first week in this world, and his first check-up to come!

-Megan, finally a mom

What is happening to me?

I'll cut to the chase- I'm bloated! Way bloated.

I realized Monday night in the shower that I didn't have ankles anymore. Not to brag, but I kind of have little ankles and I like them, so where did they go?? So of course all week my ankles have been swollen and they make my whole foot swollen, and it's so gross. Edema is the medical term, but gross is the appropriate reaction. So then this morning I tried to close my hands together, interlocking my fingers. Well, it was a little harder than you might imagine because now my fingers are retaining fluids. Blech! I already stopped wearing my rings so I hadn't noticed how much more fat they got.

It's not just my hands and feet. I swear the swelling has gone from my toes all the way up to my knees. I locked my knees last night and noticed that they felt funny, or actually fat. I had extra skin or something that was trying to decide which way to fold over. Gross. (I need a new word for gross).

The best part of all this swelling is when I sit a certain way or hold my legs or feet in a specific position, a really fun indention is made and stays for a while. It's getting ridiculous.

I would love to be able to count all my stretchmarks for you but unfortunately some are in places I just don't find acceptable so I'm trying to ignore those places. I will list where they are and to give you a visual, they aren't just one or two, they came out in full force. Here they are:
My boobs, all the way around
My love handles
My inner thigh close to bikini line and front of thigh
My inner thigh, working their way down to my knee
The inside and back of my knee
My lower abs, the last ones I got and the only ones I expected. There aren't many of them.
And last, my favorite place of all, my butt. The top of my butt, not all over the whole spread, thank goodness. I showed Miguel since 1) I can't see them except with a mirror and 2) we are so close (no modesty, nothing is embarrassing, we pee and poo in front of each other, etc.) and he said it was like I had butterfly wings above my butt. "Flying away." Hmmm... I can't tell if he was making a joke or trying to make the situation better. I'll go with the latter just so I have a dad for my baby. And I hope they will be "flying away" after birth or I'm going to have to get a tattoo on my lower back, or more commonly known as a tramp stamp.

I keep thinking I'm in the early stage of labor cause something will happen that happened to someone else but I am always disappointed. Keep in mind I don't know what real contractions will feel like and I assume my water won't break, so I'm at a loss here. Some things that I assume are sending me into labor include:
My bowels working over time to clear themselves out
Braxton Hicks, of course
Waiting for a few hours to pee so I have a sample for the DR and then my baby bouncing on my bladder so I think I'm having contractions on the right side of my body, front and back.
Swelling of various body parts
Swelling going down because I laid in bed for 12 hours
Stuff in my bath water - Gross possibly, but it was nothing of relevance, just stuff. So now I spend a lot of time hanging out in the tub to see if anything else wants to wander out.
The urge to clean - "urge" being the primary word. But I feel like major cleaning and organizing might happen this weekend.
My uterus measuring smaller, hence it is lower, hence he has dropped more
Going back to work to prepare for school starting - of course it'll start there so I have to depend on someone else to get me home. I really don't want to depend on others for that.
Walking - my classroom is a long way from the front of the school so it's a long waddle
Lastly, I went shopping yesterday and it made me walk and I walked and looked at things even if they weren't on my list to purchase. So all that walking and spending gave me a real high. I was gone for 5 hours doing various things and enjoying all the savings I got. And I swear that high I got was cause by oxytocin, the chemical that starts labor and contractions. But nothing happened. Boo. Maybe I should go again tomorrow. Or find bigger stores to walk in. I have to go to the grocery store but that never gives me a high, in fact it's a downer. (If you've read previous posts, you'll know why.)

So, I'm so surprised that my butt has spread so much my underwear cry for mercy. I'm surprised my thighs needed to expand to accommodate the arrival of my baby. I'm surprised at how much the damn scale at the DRs office says I've gained (water weight, for sure!). But I can't be pissy about it, I'm having a baby and I've been planning this so in the end, in a few months, I'll start my regimen of counting calories and working out again. Miguel has already started which isn't quite fair, but we can do this together. As long as I can get back to normal, not even skinny just normal, then I'll be good to go. And I'll be healthier for my baby, and that's important, right? Thank goodness it's a boy so I don't damage him with my self-image issues.

I'm going to put away purchases from yesterday and clean a little. I want to list what I got, tell you the original selling price total and how much I actually got it for. I bought a Bumbo seat, night and day bottle cooler/warmer, Medela single breast pump (motorized), caps for baby, clinical strength deodorant for me (not really on the list but you know), new ironing board cover, two nursing bras, a new cute nightgown (that can be worn with legging or bermudas and look decent), and mascara (free from Ulta with club points). It all cost $331.58 but I only paid $112.01 cash because I had gift cards, 10% off baby registry items, coupons, and special promos in store for the intimates bought at Penney's. I couldn't believe it! And I still can't believe that high and shock of saving 66% didn't send me into labor. Ah well.

So, I'll already have a tiny baby a week from today. If he doesn't come by Wednesday night, I'm being induced Thursday, August 20th, at 8 am. I can't believe it. This is my last Saturday to sleep in ever, my last weekend as not-a-mom, my last weekend before I forget what life was like BC (before children). I can't believe it - have I mentioned that already? And now I'm realizing that I'm just so anxious to get this going that I'm not scared or hesitant right now. I'm sure I will be before I get the epidural, but right now I'm just waiting for things to happen. *smiling to myself*

-Megan, almost there

Special Entry: Miguel's Letter to the baby

Letter from Dad to son,

Luke, it's August 9, 2009 and I'm writing this letter to say a couple of things to you before your arrival. Mom asked me to do this, but I truly felt envious of her letter. You will probably have some of our habits like bad temper, perfection, competitive nature, and big heart. I'm writing this letter so you can have this as a memory from me and to let you know how thrilled I am to have a son. You are going to be loved tremendously by both sets of grandparents and extended family members. You will have parents that will be supportive of whatever you decide to do, and will bring you up in a Christian home.

Our relationship will be a little different than any of your friends' dads. We will learn from and depend on each other in life due to only the use of my right arm. With prayers and technology maybe I will have the use of both arms. This bond we will have will make our relationship stronger. I know this is true because your mom's and my relationship has been solid since 2007. Your mom has been through a lot from my accident, and what she has done for me I couldn't forget that. If it wasn't for her taking care of me through my recovery, you wouldn't have been born.

Luke, this family you will be a part of will never have a dull moment. Your mom and I are considered clever, funny, strong-hearted, and likable people in our family. Your grandparents are no traditional one's either. My mom will talk your ears off, and love everything you do. My dad will teach you hard work and problem solving. Your mom's mom will never let anybody harm you, and she will protect you even from us. Your mom's dad... what can I say... he is a hard-working, wonderful man, and will talk to you about baseball and the Yankees.

Can't wait to see you.

Love,
Dad

Letter

Dear Baby,

You have a name now but I feel a little strange calling you by your name when you're still inside of me. But for the record, and not like you haven't heard it, your name is Luke. I apologize now for any nicknames that will come from that but everyone thinks it's a good, strong, biblical name and I like it so that's the name. I am sure that in a few years you'll be hearing this loudly come from my mouth, "Luke Austin Michaaaaeeeellllll!" You'll get familiar with it, especially since you are a boy. Your Uncle Taylor often had his whole name called at a loud voice and you'll find out why some day.

I was looking at your 21 week sonogram pictures recently. We have those prints on the refrigerator (next to the pizza coupon and cat's photo) and I just thought you had the cutest head and face. You were so small and looked like just an x-ray to us but I'm now finding it very cute, which is not like me.

I often wonder what you'll look like. I can tell right now that you will have big cheeks, probably big alert eyes, straight hair, and long legs. I also wonder what you'll look like as a teenager, which is so weird for me. I'm only 28 and to think I'll have a teenager one day is crazy! But whatever you come out looking like, you'll most likely be very handsome. (Your very first photos from the day you are born won't be the best ones of your life, but all babies look weird when they first come out.) You also may not look a whole lot like me since you are a mixture of white and Hispanic, but that'll just make you cuter and I'll know you're mine.

I can really imagine you being athletic, although I'm not saying you have to play any sports. It does run in the family though. Your dad played football and baseball. He pitched in high school, and while he can't do that as well anymore with his arm injury, he will always help and coach you if you want it. I played soccer; I wasn't great but it was fun to play with friends. Your Uncle Taylor played soccer and baseball. Your grandpa on my side, my dad (I think my mom, Meme to you, has already named him Papa, but you can call him whatever you want), played baseball too. So you can see that baseball is a pastime in our family. Anyway, I picture you being involved in sports and it would be great if you start young, perfect some skills, get a college scholarship... but we're not pressuring you.

I'm sure you'll be funny. I am very funny, and often say the most clever things. Sometimes. Your dad is funny, but sometimes he doesn't mean to be, he just is. The world seems to be filling up with precocious and witty little kids and I'm not so impressed with them. But I know you'll be different and totally make us laugh, and you have several second cousins on both sides, but you'll always steal the show.

I hope and often pray that you will be healthy, that you will make it to adulthood, and that you'll make good decisions. For someone to live a long life with no serious illnesses and be happy their whole life seems rare but I hope so much that you will have that experience. I can't make all that happen but I'll always pray and hope for those things, and I'll do what I can to make it happen.

I will probably write at least one more letter before you're born. I'm not a gushy, huggy, "aw that's so cute" kind of person, but I'm sure once you're here that will change. I don't know what else I'll write but I want you to know that your dad and I will love you so much. And I'll probably be strict and he'll let you get away with things, but it'll be okay. We'll always love you and we'll always take care of you.

-Your mom