Luke Talking

I haven't posted in weeks. I want to get all kinds of things on here but I feel so busy I can't make the time. Or I could just not sleep, but if you've been around me without sleep you know how unpleasant I can be. Here is a cute video I took yesterday of Luke talking and Miguel joining him. He will be four months next Thursday. Oh how time flies.

He's cute like a little dumpling!

I'll post his new stats next week after his 4 month check-up and we'll see if he's still in the 90th percentile.

-Megan

Halloween

I was going to wrap my baby up in gauze over his white onesie and make him a mummy for Halloween since we have gauze leftover from Miguel's accident but I decided not to be mean. So instead he wore his Halloween onesie on the 30th and on the 31st he's wearing his Darth Vader onesie that says "I take after my Dad." It's clever because his name is Luke... it's Darth Vader... get it? So for Halloween he is Luke Skywalker, kind of. Here are pictures and video.

Luke, I'm your father... and the force is with you... and blah, blah, blah (I know very little about those movies).

This is Luke in his nicest garb. I think he looks like Bobby Hill trying to dress up, but Miguel finds it cute and amusing...

Videos were taken today and feature a Yankees teether toy with a mirror and song and a rattle with those developmental colors on it.

His cute t-shirt I bought in May and forgot we had until he'd almost outgrown it.

Yes, my son is always laying on the floor. It's his preferred position right now and he can't sit anyway.

-Megan Vader

My cute little baby

I told Miguel last week that I could not believe we had a baby and how he was made. I mean I know how it all happens but it's such a complex thing, even if it happens every day. Luke started out as this tiny microscopic thing made out of a couple of cells and developed inside of me and turned into this cute little butterball. It's almost incomprehensible to me. I just can't believe it! He's so cute it makes me want another one. We'll probably try for kid #2 in a year, give or take a few months.

Here is a picture from Texas vs. OU weekend and one where he found his hand (he's two months in that picture). Same baby in both pictures taken within a few days of each other, even if it looks like a different kid. I also included a video of my cute child.

At his 9 week check-up he got 3 shots and some drops in his mouth. He cried but did pretty good. Miguel and I got the H1N1 flu mist vaccine since our jobs put us in so much contact with others and we have such a young baby.

He weighed 12 pounds 7 ounces (75% percentile for his age). He measured 24 1/4 inches long (90% percentile). Head was 40 cm.


Basically my teeny 2 month old baby is right on track for the size of a healthy 3-4 month old. But isn't that common, especially in boys? I prefer him to be hefty, even though he's slim in the torso (probably will have a long torso and be tall) he can still roll over on the other babies, just like I hoped he'd do.

I need to go tend to my healthy baby now.

-Megan

Funny video

This video is from several weeks ago, on October 7th. I know babies aren't all that entertaining but watch to the end, it has a surprise ending.

The video posted below is from October 13th. He never wants to perform with a camera in his face. He does this really cute thing where he sort of shrugs his shoulder and furrows his brow a little, smiles curiously and says, "a-ooo?" over and over. So funny.

-Megan

C is for cricket

Pictures from within the last week. He's doing so much moving, squirming, and "talking."

Here is Luke playing for the camera again. There's a little down time but he always delivers his coos and smiles.

Sometimes I look at him and can't believe I have a kid but other times it seems so normal.

-Megan

Video

Here is some video of my cute, cute baby. I haven't been writing as much because he requires a lot of my time while I'm still home, and when he's sleeping or entertaining himself with the ceiling, I use that time to eat or pick up or do laundry. So posting isn't a big thing right now. I do go back to work next Tuesday and I'm so sad but I'm looking at it like a challenge because that class is not with it! Anyway, he'll be with my mother-in-law and she's doing well with him the couple of times we've left him with her. I hope I don't miss too much while I'm at work but I've got nights, weekends, holidays, and the summer.

Cue the cuteness at 9 seconds in.

Hopefully I can get some more up soon but he finally cooperated with me. He usually turns off the charm and cuteness once he sees the camera. I'll also get some recent pictures up. He's growing and changing so much it's hard to believe it's been 8 weeks.

-Megan, Proud Mom

Video of Luke and Mom

Here is video of Luke on his over-stimulating play mat and my mom trying to entertain him. I think he has hiccups again but he's using his voice toward the end of the video. He's so funny.

5 week Check-up and Videos

Today, at 5 weeks, Luke is 10 pounds 8 1/2 ounces.
He is 21 1/2 inches long. He didn't grow much in 3 weeks but I am going to measure him myself and see if they measured correctly.
His head measures 39 cm.

Here is a video from last week. He has the hiccups, as always, and he's trying to use his voice.

Check back for another one soon.

Luke is Growing

Okay, while he is sleeping and I have a chance, I want to update with his DRs check-ups.

At birth he was 7 lbs 9 oz; 19 3/4 inches long. He left the hospital at 7 lbs 6 oz.

At 1 week he was 7 lbs 13 oz; 20 1/2 inches long, and his head measured 14 inches around.

At 2 weeks he was 8 lbs 10 oz; 21 1/4 inches long, and his head measured 14.2 inches around. He also got his hepatitis B shot and had his blood taken for a standard 1-2 week test. He cried
(wouldn't you?) but did okay after a while. At the very end he did a mouth wide open cry with no noise for a good 3 seconds, then the wailing came. But he was fine, and I'm very proud of how good he is while we're there, especially considering the wait time.

The DR said he was measuring well in all the percentiles, I haven't looked it up, and that he was doing well so far. His next appointment is a 4 week check-up but the DR is out that week so we'll go at 5 weeks.

His circumcision was performed on August 20 and the bell fell off on August 27. His belly button cord fell off on August 30. All of that has healed well and he had his first real bath on September 2. He didn't cry but squirmed a lot. He seemed to like it enough and it will get better each time. He seems so little in his tub or even his swing, but he doesn't feel little!

We're still getting used to feedings, changings, how many little clothes and blankets and wash cloths he goes through in 2 days time, but it's been pretty good. We are lucky to have a healthy baby that is adjusting to life on the outside. He still loves to sleep on the chest with his head right under our chins, but I'm guessing that's his major comfort and we won't take that away. He's sleeping in the co-sleeper in the pack and play since he's still so little. He's doing well at night and we're sleeping a little better since he's out of our bed now. He's just great!

Here are some pictures of my handsome baby. Enjoy.

While he sleeps I need to finish folding his basket of clothes that have been sitting around for 2 days. Those things aren't so important that it has to get done right away- nothing is so important right now except attending to Luke, even if I am dead tired and my patience is wearing thin. We can't believe we're parents!

-Megan, even more of a mom

My New Baby

Luke Austin Michael was born one week ago today. He is darling, has a pretty good temperament, and I love him so much.

My water broke last Sunday night. I called the DR who said to come in if they got to 5 minutes apart for an hour or at 5 am so they could induce contractions. Of course my body needed induction. Miguel was so antsy he could barely wait. We got the hospital at 5 and went right to a room. Our nurse was great. The DR saw me around 7 am and they started the Pitocin about 8 am. This meant my contractions were coming faster than normal and gained intensity quicker. It also meant that my uterus was not working hard enough, not contracting like it should be.

At some point after they started the meds, I threw up red jello. I KNEW I would get sick.

At 9:15 am I asked for an epidural. I was only 2 cm, but it hurt. I blame it on the Pitocin. The right side of my body got more of the epidural than the left because it sort of wore of in my abs and left thigh right before pushing time. But the epidural guy, an older man, was really good about it all. I felt sick again during that time and he waited patiently for me to heave nothing into the bucket. After I got the meds I drifted in and out of sleep a lot while my cervix was dilating.

The nurse made me use an oxygen mask for the last half of labor to help with baby's heart rate. They also had to use an internal device to effectively track my contractions. Normally it's done from the outside of the belly. I didn't leave the bed to walk or pee at all since I'd needed the drugs early and the device inside of me.

Miguel kept the parents updated and did really well during all of this. By about 3:30 pm I was fully dilated and feeling nauseous. I knew my nerves were getting to me because at one point I hoped that my cervix wouldn't dilate so I could just have a C-section and not have to push. I am SO glad that didn't happen. The nurse was the only one there and at 3:40 we were starting.

The delivery began like this: Nurse to Miguel, "Okay, you're going to take that leg and lift and push when the contractions start..." Miguel and I had not prepared for him to be a part of this or to even see that part of my doing that!! But I was glad he could help and I think he was happy to support me in that way. He even counted with the nurse and cheered me on. At one point I blew my pushing because he kept telling me I was doing a good job and it nearly made me laugh, so I asked him to just count and let the nurse cheer me on. It worked pretty good. They kept saying I was doing good but I know the first 20 minutes I pushed were useless. I tried to push like I had to poop but I couldn't feel anything except my head about to explode.

I need to insert here that at some point in the beginning of pushing I had my oxygen mask over my face in between pushes and said, "Luuuuke, I'm your mother," a la Star Wars. Then I laughed at myself. The nurse and Miguel humored me and laughed but the mood stayed light and was really not what I expected, which was good.

That is when the nurse and Miguel suggested I try using the mirror. So I kept breathing in my oxygen while she got a mirror and positioned it. At first I was grossed out by the thought and it also made me feel helpless cause I couldn't see what all my effort was for. But at least when I pushed I could see whether I was trying to push the bowling ball out of my butt and if my face was maroon from pushing wrong.

The DR showed up between 4:15 and 4:45 pm. I was so glad to get my DR and not the partner, although she would have been just as good. Dr. Brothers was great! She was encouraging but strict at the same time about my pushing and very enthusiastic when I did it right. She said my contractions weren't strong at all and that I did all the work, not my uterus. Yeah, I'd say I did all the work!! It was so weird to see the head crowning, and also disappointing because I was pushing so much and so little was coming out. The DR would talk to Luke and tell him he better be good and come out, and Miguel said she would tickle Luke's head as it was sitting there on the edge of the coming into the world. At a certain point I stopped using the mirror so I could close my eyes and concentrate on pushing. The whole time they had me pull my thighs toward me while they pushed against me. It just wasn't what I expected, but I didn't really know what to expect.

Around 5 o'clock they called for a baby nurse and the DR said she thought it would only take one more push. I thought, "Yeah right, you're being encouraging, so I'll just prepare myself to keep pushing." But the good Lord saved me from all but one more push. I pushed hard, eyes shut tight, and then she said, "Don't push anymore." She pulled him out and they placed him on my chest and kind of cleaned him up. I can't remember it all real well, but they wrapped him up and he was crying away. I mentioned that his head was so misshapen but I know it's normal. They took him to get measurements, do the Apgar test, and Miguel went with to watch and take pictures. The DR said I had a minor 2nd degree tear, which she did a good job of preventing worse, I watched in the mirror during delivery. She sewed me up and everyone made small talk while Luke wailed away. I looked over and said, "Is that the placenta?" She said yup, it looks like a liver. It was gross looking but I wanted to see what sustained life for my baby for all those months. Miguel saw the amniotic sac attached to it too.

So, after it was all said and done, Luke was born at 5:07 pm on Monday, August 17th, 2009.

He weighed 7 pounds, 9 ounces. He measured 19 3/4 inches long. He passed his Apgar test for reflexes and coloring. In fact, while in the hospital, he passed all the tests they performed on him.

It's so crazy to think of what I did to get him here. I know people do it every day but to do it and then look at him is so awesome. Besides the early contractions, I felt very little pain, nothing from my waist down. At one point during pushing the epidural ran out but they didn't refill it because it would be pointless and I needed to start feeling again. The whole day seemed more calm than expected and I decided that Luke would not be an only child. I could do this again- the worst part was morning sickness in the beginning of the pregnancy.

He is very cute and already making faces and looking around alert. He's breastfeeding well and finally sleeping well in his co-sleeper with us. It's all going better than expected but I'm sure I'll hit a breaking point soon. I'll just have to take it out on Miguel though. I may have forgotten some things, and I'll update or make a new post. Here are some pictures of my little baby.

More pictures, info about his first week in this world, and his first check-up to come!

-Megan, finally a mom

What is happening to me?

I'll cut to the chase- I'm bloated! Way bloated.

I realized Monday night in the shower that I didn't have ankles anymore. Not to brag, but I kind of have little ankles and I like them, so where did they go?? So of course all week my ankles have been swollen and they make my whole foot swollen, and it's so gross. Edema is the medical term, but gross is the appropriate reaction. So then this morning I tried to close my hands together, interlocking my fingers. Well, it was a little harder than you might imagine because now my fingers are retaining fluids. Blech! I already stopped wearing my rings so I hadn't noticed how much more fat they got.

It's not just my hands and feet. I swear the swelling has gone from my toes all the way up to my knees. I locked my knees last night and noticed that they felt funny, or actually fat. I had extra skin or something that was trying to decide which way to fold over. Gross. (I need a new word for gross).

The best part of all this swelling is when I sit a certain way or hold my legs or feet in a specific position, a really fun indention is made and stays for a while. It's getting ridiculous.

I would love to be able to count all my stretchmarks for you but unfortunately some are in places I just don't find acceptable so I'm trying to ignore those places. I will list where they are and to give you a visual, they aren't just one or two, they came out in full force. Here they are:
My boobs, all the way around
My love handles
My inner thigh close to bikini line and front of thigh
My inner thigh, working their way down to my knee
The inside and back of my knee
My lower abs, the last ones I got and the only ones I expected. There aren't many of them.
And last, my favorite place of all, my butt. The top of my butt, not all over the whole spread, thank goodness. I showed Miguel since 1) I can't see them except with a mirror and 2) we are so close (no modesty, nothing is embarrassing, we pee and poo in front of each other, etc.) and he said it was like I had butterfly wings above my butt. "Flying away." Hmmm... I can't tell if he was making a joke or trying to make the situation better. I'll go with the latter just so I have a dad for my baby. And I hope they will be "flying away" after birth or I'm going to have to get a tattoo on my lower back, or more commonly known as a tramp stamp.

I keep thinking I'm in the early stage of labor cause something will happen that happened to someone else but I am always disappointed. Keep in mind I don't know what real contractions will feel like and I assume my water won't break, so I'm at a loss here. Some things that I assume are sending me into labor include:
My bowels working over time to clear themselves out
Braxton Hicks, of course
Waiting for a few hours to pee so I have a sample for the DR and then my baby bouncing on my bladder so I think I'm having contractions on the right side of my body, front and back.
Swelling of various body parts
Swelling going down because I laid in bed for 12 hours
Stuff in my bath water - Gross possibly, but it was nothing of relevance, just stuff. So now I spend a lot of time hanging out in the tub to see if anything else wants to wander out.
The urge to clean - "urge" being the primary word. But I feel like major cleaning and organizing might happen this weekend.
My uterus measuring smaller, hence it is lower, hence he has dropped more
Going back to work to prepare for school starting - of course it'll start there so I have to depend on someone else to get me home. I really don't want to depend on others for that.
Walking - my classroom is a long way from the front of the school so it's a long waddle
Lastly, I went shopping yesterday and it made me walk and I walked and looked at things even if they weren't on my list to purchase. So all that walking and spending gave me a real high. I was gone for 5 hours doing various things and enjoying all the savings I got. And I swear that high I got was cause by oxytocin, the chemical that starts labor and contractions. But nothing happened. Boo. Maybe I should go again tomorrow. Or find bigger stores to walk in. I have to go to the grocery store but that never gives me a high, in fact it's a downer. (If you've read previous posts, you'll know why.)

So, I'm so surprised that my butt has spread so much my underwear cry for mercy. I'm surprised my thighs needed to expand to accommodate the arrival of my baby. I'm surprised at how much the damn scale at the DRs office says I've gained (water weight, for sure!). But I can't be pissy about it, I'm having a baby and I've been planning this so in the end, in a few months, I'll start my regimen of counting calories and working out again. Miguel has already started which isn't quite fair, but we can do this together. As long as I can get back to normal, not even skinny just normal, then I'll be good to go. And I'll be healthier for my baby, and that's important, right? Thank goodness it's a boy so I don't damage him with my self-image issues.

I'm going to put away purchases from yesterday and clean a little. I want to list what I got, tell you the original selling price total and how much I actually got it for. I bought a Bumbo seat, night and day bottle cooler/warmer, Medela single breast pump (motorized), caps for baby, clinical strength deodorant for me (not really on the list but you know), new ironing board cover, two nursing bras, a new cute nightgown (that can be worn with legging or bermudas and look decent), and mascara (free from Ulta with club points). It all cost $331.58 but I only paid $112.01 cash because I had gift cards, 10% off baby registry items, coupons, and special promos in store for the intimates bought at Penney's. I couldn't believe it! And I still can't believe that high and shock of saving 66% didn't send me into labor. Ah well.

So, I'll already have a tiny baby a week from today. If he doesn't come by Wednesday night, I'm being induced Thursday, August 20th, at 8 am. I can't believe it. This is my last Saturday to sleep in ever, my last weekend as not-a-mom, my last weekend before I forget what life was like BC (before children). I can't believe it - have I mentioned that already? And now I'm realizing that I'm just so anxious to get this going that I'm not scared or hesitant right now. I'm sure I will be before I get the epidural, but right now I'm just waiting for things to happen. *smiling to myself*

-Megan, almost there

Special Entry: Miguel's Letter to the baby

Letter from Dad to son,

Luke, it's August 9, 2009 and I'm writing this letter to say a couple of things to you before your arrival. Mom asked me to do this, but I truly felt envious of her letter. You will probably have some of our habits like bad temper, perfection, competitive nature, and big heart. I'm writing this letter so you can have this as a memory from me and to let you know how thrilled I am to have a son. You are going to be loved tremendously by both sets of grandparents and extended family members. You will have parents that will be supportive of whatever you decide to do, and will bring you up in a Christian home.

Our relationship will be a little different than any of your friends' dads. We will learn from and depend on each other in life due to only the use of my right arm. With prayers and technology maybe I will have the use of both arms. This bond we will have will make our relationship stronger. I know this is true because your mom's and my relationship has been solid since 2007. Your mom has been through a lot from my accident, and what she has done for me I couldn't forget that. If it wasn't for her taking care of me through my recovery, you wouldn't have been born.

Luke, this family you will be a part of will never have a dull moment. Your mom and I are considered clever, funny, strong-hearted, and likable people in our family. Your grandparents are no traditional one's either. My mom will talk your ears off, and love everything you do. My dad will teach you hard work and problem solving. Your mom's mom will never let anybody harm you, and she will protect you even from us. Your mom's dad... what can I say... he is a hard-working, wonderful man, and will talk to you about baseball and the Yankees.

Can't wait to see you.

Love,
Dad

Letter

Dear Baby,

You have a name now but I feel a little strange calling you by your name when you're still inside of me. But for the record, and not like you haven't heard it, your name is Luke. I apologize now for any nicknames that will come from that but everyone thinks it's a good, strong, biblical name and I like it so that's the name. I am sure that in a few years you'll be hearing this loudly come from my mouth, "Luke Austin Michaaaaeeeellllll!" You'll get familiar with it, especially since you are a boy. Your Uncle Taylor often had his whole name called at a loud voice and you'll find out why some day.

I was looking at your 21 week sonogram pictures recently. We have those prints on the refrigerator (next to the pizza coupon and cat's photo) and I just thought you had the cutest head and face. You were so small and looked like just an x-ray to us but I'm now finding it very cute, which is not like me.

I often wonder what you'll look like. I can tell right now that you will have big cheeks, probably big alert eyes, straight hair, and long legs. I also wonder what you'll look like as a teenager, which is so weird for me. I'm only 28 and to think I'll have a teenager one day is crazy! But whatever you come out looking like, you'll most likely be very handsome. (Your very first photos from the day you are born won't be the best ones of your life, but all babies look weird when they first come out.) You also may not look a whole lot like me since you are a mixture of white and Hispanic, but that'll just make you cuter and I'll know you're mine.

I can really imagine you being athletic, although I'm not saying you have to play any sports. It does run in the family though. Your dad played football and baseball. He pitched in high school, and while he can't do that as well anymore with his arm injury, he will always help and coach you if you want it. I played soccer; I wasn't great but it was fun to play with friends. Your Uncle Taylor played soccer and baseball. Your grandpa on my side, my dad (I think my mom, Meme to you, has already named him Papa, but you can call him whatever you want), played baseball too. So you can see that baseball is a pastime in our family. Anyway, I picture you being involved in sports and it would be great if you start young, perfect some skills, get a college scholarship... but we're not pressuring you.

I'm sure you'll be funny. I am very funny, and often say the most clever things. Sometimes. Your dad is funny, but sometimes he doesn't mean to be, he just is. The world seems to be filling up with precocious and witty little kids and I'm not so impressed with them. But I know you'll be different and totally make us laugh, and you have several second cousins on both sides, but you'll always steal the show.

I hope and often pray that you will be healthy, that you will make it to adulthood, and that you'll make good decisions. For someone to live a long life with no serious illnesses and be happy their whole life seems rare but I hope so much that you will have that experience. I can't make all that happen but I'll always pray and hope for those things, and I'll do what I can to make it happen.

I will probably write at least one more letter before you're born. I'm not a gushy, huggy, "aw that's so cute" kind of person, but I'm sure once you're here that will change. I don't know what else I'll write but I want you to know that your dad and I will love you so much. And I'll probably be strict and he'll let you get away with things, but it'll be okay. We'll always love you and we'll always take care of you.

-Your mom

No Mother of the Year Award for Me

Due to something that happened last night, I think I will not be nominated for Mother of the Year 2009. I'm okay with that since I already got Wife of the Year 2007-2008. That was the period of time in which Miguel was so badly injured and life as we knew it changed. (I'm still so glad it was his arm and not a leg or worse!) A friend told me I earned a few jewels in my crown for the way I handled, supported, and cared for Miguel during those many months. I like to think they are big, shiny, colorful jewels, but I can't be greedy. I didn't even know at the time that I was doing anything of the sort; I just had to do what I could to get us through it. Anyway, I'm rambling and I have to explain why "becoming a mother" won't an easy transition for me.

Let me start with lately I have been telling my cat to stop meowing. He is so vocal. We never had a gray tabby in my family, always orange cats, and I don't remember them meowing so much. But this one... *eye roll*... he makes me crazy, especially while I'm "in the family way." So I know that if I can't handle his noise, how will I handle a baby's noise?? You mothers may think that it'll be different and I'll be able to deal with it, but that remains to be seen. So, yelling at the cat is one reason I'm not getting Mother (or at least Nurturer) of the Year.

My baby likes to rock and roll at night. I figured I'd try the one thing I hadn't done- sing. I have the worst voice, I don't even really sing at church because my voice is not heavenly, ha. So I lay there, in my bed, flat as can be since my back will ache otherwise, and I'm rubbing my stomach (which doesn't calm him, neither does gentle patting or belly shaking or pushing body parts back in) and I'm trying to think of a song to sing. I'm so not a cuddler/hugger/gentle person and I'm not singing those sappy baby songs. I don't even know that many, but I can only get so far with "Hush little baby" before I'm sick of it and realize I never learned all the words. So I'm thinking, thinking. And then a song I really like and know the words to pops in my head.

"The Night the Lights Went Out in Georgia" by Reba McEntire.

How appropriate is that to sing to a baby?? I mean it has a good lesson and storyline, but not exactly a baby song. So I'm done with that song, proud that I got it all correct, and he's still moving a little. I keep thinking of what's on my iPod but I realize unless I hear the song, I don't know the words at the moment. PLS (Pregnant Lady Syndrome) again. Then I get another country song in my mind. I DO know all the words to this one.

"Friends in Low Places" by Garth Brooks.

Ha ha ha ha, I can't help but laugh thinking of the image of me singing these songs to my unborn baby. Why don't I know any other songs?? Again, this is a song in which you can learn a lesson and who doesn't love to sing it? For anyone who is familiar with the live version of the song, I didn't sing the last verse where Garth says "... and you can kiss my ass." I didn't sing it because I can't quite remember how the verse goes except that line, really.

Two more I kind of tried were "Stay" by Lisa Loeb and "I Want it That Way" by the Backstreet Boys. I thought of Pink, who is not appropriate for babies and I just couldn't remember all the lines to "Indian Outlaw" by Tim McGraw. But I gave up at that point and figured if I was singing it in my head he could tell- I mean we share a body so surely he can sense what I'm thinking.

I knew those weren't the greatest songs to sing to my child, but it was my voice and touch (I rubbed my belly throughout the songs). And I tried to sing a little of some other songs I like that make me think of baby and happiness. I just made a whole CD of songs that are sappy or make me think of baby. And I didn't dare get my iPod because anytime I move I have to pee and I wasn't sure where my earbuds were, plus I didn't want to jostle the baby in case he was calming down.

I just now realized I could have sung "Part of Your World" from the Little Mermaid, or "A Whole New World" from Aladdin, but darn it I didn't think of it then. Or even "I'm a Survivor" by Reba. I shall try those next time; they're way more appropriate.

(There are a few songs I KNOW I won't have a hard time singing- Christmas songs. I love Christmas music and "Christmas in Dixie" by Alabama will be one of the first my little boy will hear. I'm excited for that.)

But at some point he took mercy on me and settled down. Then my restless legs kicked in. They get all twitchy and itch here and there. It's ridiculous. I just don't know what I am going to do when this baby comes out (something I very much want to happen) but what kind of person am I going to be if I'm already unpleasant and rude now? And that's pre-pregnancy. I've never been very social or outwardly loving or initiated hugs. I'm guessing having a little baby will change some of those things, but don't expect me to be gracious and pleasant too soon afterward. And don't show off your Mother of the Year crown and sash in front of me because sometimes I say rude things and can't take them back. Just try to be a quiet example for me and I'm much more likely to notice and follow suit.

And here are some songs I wish I'd remembered last night:
Chattahoochee by Alan Jackson
Moon River by Audrey Hepburn
All My Loving by the Beatles
The Devil Went Down to Georgia by the Charlie Daniels Band
I'll Take Care of You by the Dixie Chicks
Rio by Duran Duran
The Thunder Rolls by Garth Brooks
Carried Away by George Strait
Mmmbop by Hanson
I'll Be There by the Jackson 5
Cosmic Girl by Jamiroquai
Who Will Save Your Soul by Jewel
Only A Man by Jonny Lang
I'm Alive by Kenny Chesney
Rock With You by Michael Jackson
Sittin' on the Dock of the Bay by Otis Redding
Good Old Fashioned Lover Boy by Queen
Love's Divine by Seal
Superstition by Stevie Wonder
Papa was a Rollin' Stone by the Temptations
When the Stars go Blue by Tim McGraw
How Do you Like me Now? by Toby Keith
Africa by Toto

I'll work on learning some appropriate and calming songs, or parts of them, over the next few weeks.

-Megan, NOT Mother of the Year... yet

You're going to feel some pressure

The DRs always say we'll feel some pressure and it's very true. I went for my 36 week checkup and was finally examined. I was so hoping to find out that something was going on down there. And I am happy to report that I am 1 cm dilated (she could stick one finger in- oh joy), 50% effaced (my cervix has thinned to 50%- so exciting), and the baby is stationed at -2 (it goes from -5 to 0 which is engaged to +5 which is crowning). The station refers to how far into the pelvic bone the baby is moving his head so he's getting it down in there just like he should. I'm making much progress being only 4 weeks out.

Yea for my cervix! I look good to deliver around my due date, give a day or two, says the doctor. We'll see. But I can guarantee if he hasn't shown up by the morning of the 20th, I'll be walking, eating spicy food, and a few other things that I am too embarrassed to mention here. Imagine how intimate and embarrassing it could be if I'm too modest to reveal my induction techniques.

-Megan, 1 cm

Random stuff

So, I've been videotaping my stomach a lot lately. It moves and does weird things so I thought I'd share it. I've been waiting for some real good video but my camera darkens the shot a little for some reason so I've decided to just post the latest that I've taped. Watch the curvature of my belly to see the most movements. And while I am breathing, I kept my movements to a minimum so you could see the maximum pokes and prods from the inside. This is the 9 o'clock exercise hour because every night at about the same time he does this for up to 30 minutes. It feels great on my bladder and isn't the least bit uncomfortable. Hopefully it's viewable.

And here's a lovely little picture that was slipped into our Prepared Childbirth class books. It's quite professional and realistic if you ask me. You can see how other people have added things to the list because the handwriting is different and not as whimsical. I think the most accurate thing about this picture is the the uterus really does take up that much room. I can feel it and I'm pretty sure that's right. And also my thighs are that big. The most inaccurate thing is the look on the woman's face. She's expressing all these "changes & discomforts" and she's smiling? Thankfully I only have half these symptoms.

4 1/2 weeks, people, 4 1/2 weeks. I'll finally be just one person again and this ever-lasting pregnancy will have ended. Everyone keeps telling me it seems like such a long pregnancy. How hard it must be on all of them to have to endure my pregnancy for so long. Wah!

-Megan, so close yet so far away

Who wants a puny baby?

At my doctor's visit last week, the DR measured my fundus (yeah- it's the top of my uterus from my pelvic bone) and said that things seemed to be right on track. I asked her when she'll guess his birth weight and length. I ask this because she very firmly squeezes and feels my stomach/uterus/mid-section every time making sure he's positioned right and can feel for certain body parts. She said right now he weighs about 4 1/2 pounds. (He'll gain about 1/2 a pound every week from now on.)

Then she said something else, still squeezing my stomach. She proudly said, "He won't be a wimpy baby when he's born." And something about how he'll be healthy and have lots of fat rolls, I can't remember it all exactly.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. I thought that was a clever way of saying my baby wasn't puny and would be just fine. Not until later when I remembered the size of my husband's and my brother's heads did I worry. Both large heads now and at birth- not that it doesn't suit their body frame and all, but still... Fun times, fun times.

My mom saw the humor in her remark as well when I told her later. Then she shared this with family at my Dad's parents house the other day and my Grandma said, "I don't think he'll be a big baby." I was gobsmacked! Not just flabbergasted, but gobsmacked! She hasn't seen me since March, hasn't seen any pictures of me, and she certainly hasn't examined me. I guess it might be her age making her say things like that.

But what, does she want me to have a puny baby?! No thanks- I want mine to be the baby who rolls over on top of all the other infants and shows 'em who's boss!

Anyway, it was good to hear he's developing well, as much as we can tell, but that size scares me a little. Other news from my check-up is I'm really not gaining the weight like I used to, which is good for me to hear. I was concerned but maybe the baby is packing it on instead of me now. My blood pressure and his heart rate are all normal and good. At the next visit I get examined, measured, tested for Group B strep (don't ask, look it up), and Miguel comes with me so the DR can talk about when it's time to make that call!

I can't believe there are only 36 days left until my due date!

-Megan, of the big-heads

Some Things About Pregnancy

My senses have become heightened as I've been pregnant so I think I've noticed (and did not noticed) a few things that I will share.

I don't always feel special... like when I see other pregnant women. Jeez, is the world's population about to double or what? I'm over all those other pregnant people, except of course my friends who have been pregnant in recent months. It's okay for them. But I feel like I can't complain when I see other bellies poking out. I guess I'll have to get over that. And I'm sure I'll feel special when I actually have the baby out of me and I can start reducing my size. Ladies of little pregnancy knowledge, get this- your stomach doesn't go right down after birth, not even a week after birth. It slowly decreases and I had no idea since I haven't gotten to the "After Birth" chapter in my book!

My hair seems to hold up better and without as many washings than it used to. My face also cleared up. The pill kept my face tame, but the beginning of pregnancy, and every now and then, it would break out. So if my hair and face look decent now, what will it look like after the baby comes and I am too tired to wash at all??

I can be very unobservant. Twice in the last month I went to put my contacts in. I'm standing in the bathroom looking into the mirror and rubbing my eyeball with my finger trying to find that damn contact. Oh wait- I should be trying to take the damn contact out of the case and putting it ON my eye instead of slowly wiping away the top layer of my cornea. Jeez.

I'm obsessed with looking at pictures of friends baby's at certain months during their first year alive... so I can compare my child later on. It's not really to see who's kid is better, but to make sure mine isn't lagging behind. Of course, mine will be better, but I don't have to tell my friends that. And I know they're secretly comparing anyway.

My baby has hiccups every day. Not uncommon, but sometimes he gets them more than once a day. It must be what I'm eating but I feel like maybe he's having seizures or something and I can't do anything to stop them. I don't know... do they have seizures in the uterus?? Maybe I should just eat bland food from now on.

I have unsettling and morbid thoughts often. It's probably a bad idea to put them out here and I don't like for others to share those thoughts so I'll just say they are normal for pregnancy and unlikely to happen, but still I hate thinking such upsetting things.

I enjoy not putting on proper clothes. This might be a problem for folks who work, but I am completely alone during the day at home and I don't want to dirty any more clothes than I have to. I also don't want to have to wear the same damn maternity clothes all the time. I've outgrown some of them anyway. It's kind of pissing me off, although Miguel is kind enough to not care what my body looks like, especially when I dress like I'm in Europe with no dress code. And he means it so it helps; he also doesn't care if I put on pants or not.

I sweat. That goes along with not wearing pants, which can be a hassle when UPS rings the bell. "Hold on a minute... I have to put pants and a bra on." I don't say that last part out loud but I curse them for making me put on pants (probably dirty pants). I sweat, and I sweat in unladylike places, and I do it every day. I'm not embarrassed to say that because some of you totally know what I'm talking about. But it just gets a little un-fun sometimes, with the wearing of pants and sweating. Also I sweat in my bra apparently and didn't know it. I put on all these clean clothes the other day and thought, "Why do I still stink?" Well, the one bra I have that fits was being worn when I did laundry and didn't get clean. So I took it off, Febreezed it and put it back on. It's not like I really go anywhere.

People really piss me off. I hate to take to such strong language but it's just how I feel. This usually happens at a store. I mean, I am less then 6 weeks from having a baby, I'm showing, I'm big, I waddle (slightly), I'm slow and always look like I'm in pain and these old biddies still don't get out of my way. I've given into sighing real loud and pushing my cart around them, even if it means running into something in the process. I don't care because YOU AREN'T PREGNANT! I also wish I could put a giant sign on my car that tells everyone I am pregnant, hormonal, and back the hell off! I was tempted to get out of my car at a red light once to go speak to a man about his honking at me (because some other moron couldn't decide which flipping lane to get in and it bothered me). Anyway, I looked over at him, but he never looked my way (knowing full well that he honked at me!) so I decided to stay in my car. It ended my errands early that day. Seriously, I used to give all pregnant women the space and consideration they needed at the grocery store, and even the old people in their scooters who took up the whole aisle, but now I'm over it. I'M OVER IT and I'm not yielding to them anymore!

I'm having Braxton Hicks contractions and have been for 2 weeks now. They feel like menstrual cramps. (I call them "menstrual" cramps because it sounds more sophisticated than "period" cramps. Like it matters what I call them- they're cramps.) They've slowly gained in intensity and I'm not fond of them. I've heard that the beginning of contractions feel like menstrual cramps, and if that's the case I'm not interested. I keep having a vision of myself doubled over on the high school track in a fetal position due to insane cramping during my soccer class. It always came during soccer which I find ironic since the male coaches had no idea how awful it was. Those cramps really hurt. So back to the present... after a day of a few contractions here and there, I made Miguel look into my eyes and I said, "It's going to be bad. It is really going to be bad." I'm afraid he's not prepared.

I've gotten closer to some old friends of mine that I'd been neglecting. Lemon yogurt, toasted turkey sandwiches, watermelon, ice cream, and cereal. Aaaaannnd, most of those are good for me during this trying time in my life so I don't feel guilty about literally eating each of them at least once a day. And since I'm out of ice cream (that happens when you eat it every day) I made a chocolate bundt cake and drizzled cream cheese frosting over it and it is savory. *sigh* I am about to cry thinking about having to count calories in a few short weeks.

I don't cry a lot in the state I'm in (pregnancy, you know). I've had 2 or 3 complete breakdowns, by myself unless you count the concerned cat, and they weren't pretty. Once I even looked at myself in the mirror to see if it looked gross, and the mirror cringed. It usually stems from something that Miguel innocently did or said, but because I expect him to spend his free time with me (only when I want him to) or do simple things around here for me, I get a little upset when he does something otherwise. Then I cry alone, heaving my shoulders up and down uncontrollably, unable to stop, gasping for breath as the cat walks around me trying to figure out what's wrong. Then I'll stop crying, red in the face and exhausted, and I'm overcome with another wave of insensible bawling. It can last for 20 minutes.
*I did this after Miguel invited his mom to dinner that I had specially prepared for him as a sort of surprise. I felt bad for feeling the way I did, but he could tell something was wrong so he uninvited her (even worse); I guess they didn't hold it against me though, he said she said she understood and he needed to spend time with me. (I've been moaning and bitching at him for a while now to spend more time with me doing what I want to do- I don't think that's unreasonable.)
*Another time I did that was after I bought a maternity bathing suit and we had company over at the same time. It was my last day at work (a work day- no kids) and I went to take a bath, while ignoring everyone (I'd already been cordial earlier in the day), and I sobbed quietly in the tub considering returning the Large/Extra Large bathing suit that I'd been resigned to. Miguel successfully did it again, by asking my permission for another guest to come stay with us. I knew he'd already told the person yes, so I had no choice. I could tell Miguel was unnerved, concerned, and very confused, but he didn't know what to do to help. And he couldn't help really. It was all in my head and hormones.
Sssooooo, other than those two very memorable times, I haven't really been a crazed, hormone-driven maniac. I have gotten agitated, annoyed, bothered, pissed off, upset, incredulous, peeved, and I'm sure provoked by all those inconsiderate people in the grocery store. I get teary eyed reading or watching things about dead or severely injured soldiers. I hate that! I also get teary watching the ends of movies where things end happily ever after. But I can't say that I get like that often, and it's probably a good thing.

We went to our first prepared childbirth class last Monday night. I am pleased to announce that I am the most special of all the people there because I am the one closest to her due date. All the others are due in September or October. I'm thinking they'll forget some of the stuff they learned by that time. Anyway, I didn't learn a whole lot last week that I hadn't read in a book except for one very gross and important thing. We can request to see the placenta and attached amniotic sac once the afterbirth has been delivered. GROSS! But, I think we'll take a picture of it if we get the chance to see it. Can you imagine seeing the sac your baby grew in for nine months?? Weird, and gross. I may even share the picture here.

We go again tonight to our class and take a hospital tour. Fortunately for me, I've already been in a labor and delivery room, with my kidney infection and all. I think I'll stand back like a pro and let all the others (especially those uneducated baby daddies who ask crazy questions) take a gander. I do want to see the post birth rooms though. And if people don't get out of my way, I guess I can say, "Hey! Pregnant lady here, trying to get through!" I wonder if it will work?

If I should think of anything else to share, I'll be back to post. I always think of things to post but never want to come and post them because it takes too much effort. Ha.

-Megan, almost a mother

My diabetes test and other stuff

So, I wrote last Monday that I had to do the 3 hour gestational diabetes test where I drink the gross drink and they take my blood four times and they check my blood sugar levels. The nurse said she would have the results the next day and call me. No call- and I didn't want to bother them because if they don't have the results then what can they tell me? I just hate to waste others' times but I had a regular check-up on Thursday so I asked then. I passed all four tests and everything was good. Thank goodness because I love ice cream right now.

My uterus is measuring well, my blood pressure is always good, I lost a pound from the last time I went (and after gaining a lot more than the books say I should, I figure that was good but the DR was curious as to why), and overall things look fine. Now I have to try to find a pediatrician (who knew?) and I hate trying to find a good doctor. We also have our childbirth classes in July and we're sooo looking forward to that.

Of course the baby is doing well. He continues to practice his martial arts skills and I think has fallen into a sort of normal schedule where he moves at specific times of the day, and sleeps at specific times. He gets hiccups almost daily. The DR said she could feel his butt up near my ribs and all the pictures online from here on out show them upside down (birthing position) so I feel good knowing his butt is up and head is possibly down, although I think he's slightly slanted due to where I feel the movement. He loves ice cream, Tex-Mex, and watermelon, and he never drinks soda anymore (unless I take a sip from Miguel's drink). I have two months to go and as comfortable as he is, I hate to make him leave his cushy home but I want him out. I bump my stomach on all kinds of things because I forget I have a stomach with a human thing inside, and my back has given in and hurts daily now.

Miguel and I celebrated our 4th anniversary Friday. Miguel also bought me a "push present." I have no idea where he got the idea but I'm not against it. He got me (us) a new digital camera that has good video recording as well so we hope to put that to use in August. No video of the kid sliding out but maybe video of him being cleaned up and we can get that stuff posted. We'll see then.

I should go now and get some exercise. I think I'll go walk in the pool. I hate the swimsuit and belly part, but no one should be out there now and I wear my cover-up so I'm okay as long as I'm in the water doing something.

-Beached whale

New Picture and the name

As unflattering as it is (my mother, to my displeasure, agreed) here is a picture taken last week. I am 7 months here and really no picture taken of me from the side is flattering, especially with the shadow. I think I need a new pic with better clothes on. Again, I can't wait to have a non-pregnant body. And I'd like to think my baby would like to be outside of a non-pregnant body in a few weeks so as long as we're in agreement...




For anyone who doesn't already know or who forgot how many names he has, we've decided on the name Luke Austin Michael. His sonogram proved without a doubt that he's a boy so that's the name and we're sticking to it... unless his penis falls off or something and he turns out to be a she. Then we're in trouble! No agreement on a girl's name was met.

Still pregnant

I've been meaning to post about my hospital stay, my kidney infection, my possible gestational diabetes, the inside of my uterus, and all that but I've been so busy and tired finishing school. Now that I am done with school and have nothing to do but eat and sleep and swim, I will be posting more.

At this moment I am home in between the 1st and 2nd of 4 times my blood will be drawn this morning for my glucose tolerance test. I failed the first one, with numbers too high. I think it was the butter on my toast before I went in, but it could be the aggressive weight gain I've experienced and my lack of consistent exercise. Anyway, I had my blood drawn, successfully the first time, at 8 am, drank that nasty glucose-potent drink, and I go back in an hour to have it drawn again. I do that two more times and hopefully on Thursday when I go for my regular check-up they will have the results and tell me I'm good. Otherwise I'm going to have to watch my diet a lot more and exercise more. I can't do anything really until then but eat better.

Tuesday the 26th I left work early feeling slightly nauseous and with a pain in my back, then after throwing up at home I called the DRs office. So I missed my work shower two weeks ago because I got a UTI, which later that day was diagnosed as a kidney infection which led to my being admitted to labor and delivery where they monitored me and the baby (he is totally fine) and gave me an IV drip of antibiotics for 36 hours. I was taken to the antepartum floor of the hospital and hated it, especially the broth menu they kept bringing me cause I threw up twice. I needed real food and finally got it and was much better. This was my second UTI of my pregnancy although I'm sort of prone to bladder infections (genetics) and they want me to take antibiotics until I push this baby out just to be careful. My parting gifts from the hospital were two giant bruises that got worse after I got home. They tried to give me an IV on the side of my left wrist and it bruised in two kinds of ways a few days later. The other time was the evil woman who kept taking my blood (only 3 times really) and the first time she took it, she took it from my left forearm. What? I'm not familiar with that technique but the next day she came back, she must have seen how badly she bruised me and took it from my elbow. She needs some more training. I know those hospital vampires aren't nurses and I think I'd rather the nurse did it. I'm going to request no more blood taken from my forearm unless they can't get it any other way (stab me, please). The morning I left they lost my blood in the tube system at the hospital and evil blood taker came back for more, but that was how the DR decided to let me go so it was okay, I guess. Not a fun trip. Poor Miguel slept in the room with my both nights (I think he felt obligated) but he didn't have work during that time so it was a little okay.

Got to go run to the DRs office (2 miles away so I get to leave) and have blood drawn. I'll write again soon.

Big big bigger

Before: 4 weeks pregnant

After: 6 1/2 months pregnant

I used to not be fond of my pre-pregnant body but now I'd be so happy with it. I'm not one of those people who loves to be big and pregnant. I want the kid, I just don't want to feel big, bloated, sweaty, and grunt every time I get up. I can honestly say I'm not the lady who loves being pregnant. I'll be the lady who loves her kid, but not the route we had to take to get it.

Coming soon, I re-write Britney Spears' "(Hit Me) Baby One More Time." I've been working on it in the shower and it's pretty good. Look for it soon.

-Thighs that Stretch (with marks)

My hump

My stomach is starting to feel like a dodge ball- it's harder and rounder. It's not beautiful in the nude.

Oh, I found stretch marks in a fun new place this morning. Inside of my thighs. Really, no one told me about that. I've heard a lot about pregnancy but I seem to experience things no one has told me about or mentioned.

I just got sentimental looking at drawings of what babies look like inside the womb. It's so cheesy but I can't help it.

He moves so much. Sometimes I can see him moving and it's bizarre. I'll stop saying weird and say bizarre instead. I guess every mother in the world knows what I am talking about but no one told me how weird it is. What gives, people?? So the moving goes something like this: kick, kick, kick... jab... ... head-butt really hard!!!! Today he had a 10 minute karate session next to my bladder. A Whataburger (jr.) shut him down for a while.

I've gained more weight. I just hate it because it's more than I really should. I'll be honest- I am not walking or exercising. But I did move two weeks ago and have been doing a lot around the place and walking up twice as many stairs so I'm thinking that will help a little. I walked and elliptical-ed today, but nothing too strenuous. And it didn't feel great afterward. I wanted to walk outside but the damn weather keeps bringing rain.

Oh, he says hi. I am pretty sure that his kicks in Morse code meant for me to tell you all he said "Hi." Do you believe me???

Back to my weight, I go to the doctor tomorrow afternoon. Of course it's in the afternoon when I have already eaten 10 pounds of food. We'll see what she says. I think I'm so tired right now and have checked out mentally of my job that I am waiting for school to be over to get back to walking and being regular with exercise. But I'm adding protein to my diet with the carbs so it's not as bad as before. Like instead of donuts I get pigs in a blanket. That's better, right?! I hardly ever get donuts though, so I'm kidding, kind of. But I am trying. And I'm getting more fruit and trying to drink more water. I just feel like I'm screwing this kid up and I'll get gestational diabetes in the process.

Random thought: I can't believe I am 6 months pregnant. I just had a vision of myself laying on the floor of the bathroom during Christmas break feeling like I was dying. Then laying in the shower until the hot water was gone and then laying there with towels on me waiting for more hot water to build up. Oh my God- that is enough to make me not want another kid for a long time. I'm betting labor and delivery is worse, although being sick lasted 2+ weeks and labor isn't usually that long.

I'm tired and need to go. I need to get a picture of myself up here so everyone can see the giganticness that is me. But my husband has the camera somewhere so it will have to wait a few days. My birthday is Monday- and I sort of feel like it's lost specialness now that I am pregnant and there are more important things in the world. I'm not upset about it but I'm certainly not looking forward to my birthday like I used to. Maybe I'm maturing. But I'll be excited when I get some cards.

Pictures coming this weekend. Say hello to your mother for me.
-Megan

Penis Envy

Aw, I just saw a picture of myself right after we found out I was pregnant. I was going to do that thing where you take a picture every month to see how you grow... I get so bored with stuff like that. I miss my old, totally non-perfect body. I hope to have that non-perfect body back one day.

So I won't be posting my belly today, I need to find a somewhat flattering top and pants before I go there. Then I will do comparison shots. But I do have pictures of this living thing that is inside of me and I swear he's clawing to get out. But then I think, Why would he want to get out if he doesn't know what the outside is like or that it even exists? Follow me?

So without further ado, here is a shiny picture of the sonogram taken on April 7th.

In case you're having a Rachel Green moment from Friends, he is facing upwards and looks like he is blowing a bubble but it's really his little fetus fist. I'll try to get a better picture later but this will work for now. It was so neat to see his heart chambers and brain and little fetus organs. And now here is the most important sono picture, the one that parents-to-be of girls don't really show you because there isn't a penis to show.

See how they circled the penis and wrote "boy" on the screen? If I had performed this ultrasound myself I would have been able to determine the sex of this baby just by this picture. He's not shy. The picture shows his lower back, bottom, and sporty looking leg. He's got to be an athlete is he's related to Miguel and me. Not that there is anything wrong with not being an athlete, but it's bound to happen. I hope he's tall too. And not too skinny where you can see his ribs in his back- my brother was that skinny for a while; yuck.

There you have it. Penis and all. It's so weird to think I have a penis inside of me. It kind of bothers me if I think about it too much. But it also bothers me when he booty bumps my belly non-stop. It's just so weird, I can't describe it any other way.

-Megan

Say What?

Husband says: You look cute pregnant.

Really? What was I before?

...

This kid is kung-fu fighting a lot in my uterus. It's crazy that a one pound thing can move so much and make such a fuss in there.

We're moving today and I will update later after the baby has a room of his own (thank goodness) and get those sonogram pictures up.


-Cute when Pregnant

It's a...

BOY! It's a boy.

I'm glad and excited but I'm still a little indifferent to it all. It's so weird and new, but we are happy. It's healthy too, everything was normal says the doctor. Still due in mid August and growing nicely.

I'll have to get the penis picture on here soon. It was very clear that this rock-climbing (or uterine wall-climbing) child is a boy. I'm sure Miguel is so proud.

Living with a man, a male cat, and soon a boy,
Megan

Bless You!

NOTE: Anyone reading this may feel slightly grossed out then sympathetic for me.

Friday afternoon I was alone and getting ready to leave work and had a full bladder.

I sneezed.

And peed a tiny bit.

I thought that didn't happen until later. Oh well.


-Megan, whose peeing her pants at 5 months

The sex of the baby

The baby is... questionable.

Before I tell you what the predictions are I must say that I have no intuition as to the sex. Yes there is a baby penis or baby vagina inside of me (please don't have both!) but I still can't tell if it's a boy or girl. I tend to think it's a boy because we have a boy name for sure picked out and we have blue curtains that would be convenient for a boy's room (although if it's a girl she's getting those blue curtains). Anyway, I don't have that mother's intuition about the sex and in the end I want one boy and one girl so it doesn't matter too much what this one is.

On to the predictions:

The Chinese Birth Chart says that when I conceived at age 27 in November I should be having a boy. Most charts say that but a few are off and must have been found in a different tomb in China.

The Mexican way of doing it, says my Hispanic co-worker, is the gold or white gold ring (preferably your own wedding band) on a gold chain. You hold out a palm and the other person holds the chain over over your hand. It's still at first but eventually it will move. If it moves in a circle it is a girl and if it moves back and forth it is a boy. Both times we tried it, and when I did it to myself at home, it said girl.

I love the science that goes along with these techniques. If you know of any other ethnic predictors I'd be interested and will post results. I think the best way to determine, short of checking out the baby when it pops out, is to get the sonogram on April 7th at 2 pm. That baby better be ready to reveal itself. Hold on please... Okay, I'm back. I wanted to tell that baby that it better be spread eagle that day so we can find out if it's a him or her. I would think that Cha Cha would want to be called the appropriate name.

So I need to go now. I am totally going to eat some hot dogs (heated up to steaming of course). I am so hungry!

-Megan of the Vargas'

Body update

I have meant to post this for a week now. Here are some updates:

1- I have gotten used to the moving inside my uterus. It makes me nervous when I don't feel it. Good job connecting with baby. High five to me.

2- In three weeks I have only gained one pound. I did not try to only gain one pound, and I have not dieted by any means, but I am eating less than before. So that is good because I couldn't handle gaining more and more than I should.

3- My belly button is getting shallow! I can't stick my finger in as far as I used to. I don't know how often I stuck my finger in before, but it's definitely not going in as far now. I used to be sure that it went really far in there, never ending because I could never find the end of it. Sadly though, I can find the end of it and I'll miss my belly button.

4- Now that I wear maternity clothes (thanks Mom) I look more pregnant and not just like I'm trying to squeeze into clothes that are too little for me.

5- These pregnancy dreams are consuming my nightlife. I have not dreamed of bathing my baby and holding it under water (which is not an uncommon dream) but I have weird, upsetting, annoying, vivid, colorful dreams. Last night I dreamed that my dad gave me a small handgun to protect myself with. I cocked it and accidentally shot it off and it shot out corks. Corks?? Unless they came out at 75 mph, those puny corks weren't hurting anyone. So then I felt less protected and upset and woke up a little peeved at my dad. He'll get a chuckle out of that. I also dreamed that my ring broke in two parts and I lost it- I sobbed so much. In reality it probably could have been fixed but when I woke up I felt exhausted from that dream. I am home alone for a few nights and it's so much nicer to wake up from those dreams to a warm butt on my arm that to be alone in the middle of the bed begging the cat to sleep with me.

I'm sure I'll keep having those dreams so I'll keep posting the ones I find interesting.

Say hello to your mother for me!
-Megan

Honestly, I don't like it

What expectant mother doesn't need to be reassured that the baby is still in there living? Me, sort of.
What expectant mother doesn't want to feel her baby move? Me.
What expectant mother complains about it even though she really wanted it? Me.

I'm 4 1/2 months along and I'm a bad mother-to-be. BUT, I'm also being myself. And my philosophy lately is "God knows (how I feel)," so why try to hide or ignore it. Also, I've read that having contradictory feelings about all of it is normal and that's what I kept telling my mother, but she disagreed. Please- it's been 26 years since she was pregnant, she doesn't remember these little things.

So this is the fourth day that I've felt that feeling that the baby is moving. And it is moving! My first reaction- weird; my second reaction- I don't like this. I feel like I'm being invaded or something. And I've already admitted that my life as I knew it is over. I have no idea about this other life and that bothers me.

When I started feeling it move it was uncomfortable, I described it as a gas bubble coming to the surface of my abs. But no, that's not right. It's like an erratic heartbeat or muscle twitch in my lower abs. It is below my waist band and it's very noticeable to me. I've stopped shifting my position to try to stop it. This is payback for for the Earthquakes- I should have known some aftershocks were coming!

At this point I'm okay with it and it lets me know He/She is still alive. But of course now I have to rename it. I can't imagine what it is doing to move so much (besides being a pinball) because sometimes the feelings will last an hour or more, but it's never constant, always erratic. And it's usually never at night to bother me (yet) so I'm guessing it's a dancer. And the first dancer name that came to mind?? No, not Fred Astaire (although I think we're leaning toward a boy right now), but I've named it Cha Cha as in Cha Cha DiGregorio from Grease. It'll work for 2 1/2 weeks until we really find out what the sex is.

Don't misunderstand me- I have always wanted kids (we even planned this pregnancy), and I want kids who are little versions of me and Miguel, I just never wanted to deal with all the mess and possible complications. It's so much to adjust to and worry about and I'll do just fine but it's scary and weird and new. What I can't wrap my mind around the most is how this baby formed from a chance meeting and a few little cells expanding to create a human. All of us were made that way! Crazy stuff!

Anyway, I'm getting more comfortable with Cha Cha's movements and I'm resenting things less, but I can't help how I feel. I'm normally a glass half-full kind of person, and I am seeing that my glass is more than half-full if I look at the big picture. I just don't like the feeling of invasion- like an alien about to pop out of my guts... 5 more months to go.

-Megan (and Cha Cha)

Torturing the fetus

For the past week I have been giving Ling Ling a hard time. I feel a little bad but it makes me laugh so much I can't help it. I mainly do it when Miguel is around.

Since I have a belly now I find that I put my hands there a lot. While my hands are there they need something to do. So I gently shake my belly and yell, "EARTHQUAKE!" Than I laugh and laugh and laugh... Miguel just shakes his head. I'm not really shaking the baby since it's tucked in my cantaloupe-sized uterus; I shake my belly to be safe. And the baby probably enjoys the fact that I'm having a good time and laughing. Right?

Maybe you have to see it in person, but it really is so funny. I want to laugh thinking about it.

EARTHQUAKE!!

Don't Hip Hop Dance With a Belly full of Carrots

Do not eat 3 servings of carrots and ranch and decide that an hour later you should do a little cardio and try hip hop dance. And don't follow it with rhythmic stretching.

My tummy hurts and my gag reflex is trying to tell me something.

I'm normally good at the hip hop dance moves- I do have rhythm and I enjoy it. And yes, I did get that move right, and yes I added some attitude. The rhythmic stretching was a little more intense than what I expected. I expected to lay on the floor and breath in and out and move my arms above my head. It was basically 10 minutes of low-intensity yoga. Not a cool down. More like an up-chuck.

I wonder what the baby thought during all that bouncing around and attitude with those sassy arms and hot feet. I am making an effort to work out more, and over Spring Break I can totally walk and exercise.

In other news, I got a phone call from the doctor's office in regards to my blood and urine tests. They said they would only call if something was wrong. I guess they were having a slow day because they called to tell me that everything came out fine and we are at low to no risk (my words, not theirs because I am a realist) for any disorders or diseases that they tested for. Yea! I was a little worried but nothing really runs in our families so we figured everything would be fine. Now I don't have to do the amniocentisis unless something else comes up.

Tomorrow is my last day of school for 9 days. This fetus won't know what is going on without me using a loud voice and sighing so much. I like my job, it's rewarding, but I could do with 7 less kids in the classroom. No one in particular, ha ha, but it would be less stressful. I look forward to Spring Break.

I'll write the next time I try a less hoppy and rhythmic exercise routine to tell you what my gag reflex is doing.

-Megan

4 month check-up

I made sure I drank enough so I could give a good pee sample. It's so embarrassing to go to the doctor and not be able to pee.

While I was lying there waiting for the doctor to come in and examine me, I was laying with my "drape"- more like large paper towel- and I had some pressure in my lower abdominal area. I really didn't think this was the time to have gas and I tried really hard to keep it in and contained. Fortunately, it wasn't much of anything and I did not embarrass myself. Yet.

I heard the baby heartbeat again. Good and healthy. My weight, not so good. I gained 10 pounds in a month. I know!! But it's because I keep eating fast food and not exercising. So I now vow to exercise. No more "I'm too tired," or "It's so windy outside." Like the wind affects whether I can get on a treadmill. But I do prefer walking outside and I'm totally going to get pregnancy yoga DVD so I can push like a champ when the time comes.

They took my blood to do screenings for possible birth defects. Please, God, please don't let them call me. No spina bifida, no Tay-Sachs, no Downs Syndrome. Please. I really hope they don't call me. But if they do, it just means I'm at a higher risk of something, and if I am then I'll consider the other more invasive tests. I do not like the idea of an amniocentesis. You want to stick a needle into my belly's water park to get a sample? Um, no thank you! Fortunately none of those things are common or prevelant in either side of our families so I'm sure it will be fine.

I did notice my first sign of pregnancy today. My first visble sign. My belly has grown and if I relax those muscles I look either pregnant or like I've gained 10 pounds in a month. But the other sign is the line. I have the beginnings of that vertical line that runs from my pelvis to my belly button and up from there. Have you ever seen it? My friend who just had her baby had it. I saw it on her big, firm belly at about 7 months and it was dark. It goes away after birth, but I have gotten it so I'm kind of excited.

I go April 7th to find out the sex of the baby. It'll probably be sitting with it's legs crossed. But I am getting excited for it. I hate to have to wait, but my husband has to be there. And my mom decided that since she is missing out on baby stuff (what? my nausea and acid reflux?) that she wanted to go if she could while she visited the Big D on her spring break. We're close and all, but not that close. I told her Miguel would be in there with me first, and then she could find out. She said she was fine with being the third person to know, but really she's like the 5th or 6th person to find out. God knows. The baby probably knows- I assume it knows whether it's a girl or boy, why wouldn't it? The sonographer will know. Then me and Miguel. Then my mom. After that, it's a free-for-all of phone calls to tell people. I hope people care.

So things are good, my weight is not. Imagine if I gained 10 pounds every month, GEEZ! So I need to be better about exercising but no one seems to be my encouragement so it's up to me and HimHer. The weather is so much better for outdoor stuff so I know I'll get out there. Not today though, I went to work for half a day, the dentist, the obstetrician, and I've been tired all day. I need a little nap.

-Meg- I'm too tired to type

Labor and Delivery Waiting Room Questions

The following questions were conceived in the waiting room of a hospital last week. I came up with these questions while a friend was in the process of pushing a baby out of her and I thought it was important to know a few things, even if it is 5 ½ months away. I can’t skip ahead in my pregnancy book and I’m still stuck on month 2 and it’s boring there. I peaked at the labor and delivery chapter and shut it quickly. So now I will get to my list.

Labor and Delivery Waiting Room Questions

Dear Stork, I’ve recently found out that you do not in fact deliver the baby to their parent’s home. I was shocked and slightly unnerved. I have a few questions that maybe you can answer. If you can’t answer them, perhaps you can refer me to someone who can honestly answer them.

1. When or how far along do they give the epidural?
2. What if the epidural wears off?
3. What are preparations for the bed I’ll be in like for the birth and cleanup of afterbirth grossness?
4. What is the afterbirth like? How much is there? How long does stuff come/leak/ooze out?
5. What is it like when the baby is halfway out of the body and you’re in between pushes?
6. What happens if you “rip” and what are the complications?
7. This is a premature question since I’m asking about actual labor, but… what do you do with them once you get them home?

Eagerly awaiting your response,
Nervous-wreck mother-to-be

The best thing about this fetus

It makes me remember my love of country music.

I may have to change my baby's name to Kenny Alan Tim instead of Ling Ling.

I know taste in music is a real personal thing, and while some folks don't like country, it's a pretty big movement that isn't going away. And while I love country music, I only love some of it. I like the 90s country, not this new-poppy-young country, but the great ones like Kenny, Tim, Alan, Garth, George, and Reba. I've embraced their newer songs and I like it. I made myself an awesome mixed CD and I'm going to rock out to it in the car today while I actually drive to the country. (I'm not going to the country just because I have the music, but I have things to take care of in Terrell.)

And now it's time to get on the train... Megan's Train of Thought:

I've been listening to country music lately.

It makes me feel good, innocent, like there is nothing wrong in the world.

It reminds of me of summertime, which reminds me of vacations.

I always vacation at the beach, and that reminds me of Kenny Chesney who lives part-time in the Caribbean.

And who doesn't want a crapload of money while sitting on a beach drinking a feel-good adult beverage? *sigh* I wish I was there now.

Next summer, 2010, will be our 5th anniversary and I've been planning a Caribbean vacation in my head for years now. I'm taking all my country music when I go and I'm leaving my baby with my parents. I can't wait.

-Megan McGraw-Chesney

In utero

I had to share what my uterus looks like right now. I haven't really seen in there, but I'm picturing something like this:

See the umbilical cord and the vast space Ling Ling is floating in? Anyway, it was hard to find the exact picture, but this is pretty close. It's a picture of the first American space walk.

And I attached a link to where I got the photo since folks get into trouble for things like that. http://www.vibrationdata.com/space/eva.htm

I've got nothing

Pregnancy has stolen my humor and wit. I had tons of it before now.

Being pregnant is... fill in the blank. Right now it's "eh." That's why I can't write anything here.

I was going to write about things that make me cry while pregnant because it was an interesting list. I've forgotten so many though that I can just put it here: a beautiful, sunny day on the playground at school; Reader's Digest stories (especially when they result in people being disabled); Delilah on the radio at nights with all those stupid dedications (almost called in two weeks ago to dedicate a song to my husband); and the endings of movies like 13 Going on 30, Notting Hill, and Elf. The part at the end of Elf where they all sing and Santa's sleigh gets some air and flies over the crowd really gets me!

Ooh, I hear a Grease commercial in the background. I bet I'll cry at the end of that when they sing "Always be together..."

Oh- I bought some maternity jeans Friday. Yeah, now I can breathe. I didn't go to a maternity store- I'm not quite that pregnant. I went to Gap maternity (thank you husband's discount!). It was fine. I got a pair that are big on me but I'm working on a bag of Cheese Puffs right now so I'll probably fit into the jeans real soon. I'm not "showing" at all, but my size has increased. God is being funny! I'll feel more special when I'm showing and wear those ugly maternity shirts and people ask to touch my belly and I tell them "No."

Having the first grandchild is fun. Miguel is an only child so we're his parents only hope. And on my side, my brother probably won't have kids for a while since he and his wife can't make up their minds about it. I've heard differing views and it doesn't concern me. Anyway, I do like having the first one on both sides. So far it's the only special thing. I mean, this fetus that is the size of a grapefruit right now is very special and I feel bad when I poke my abs to try to make it move, but I am wanting to feel more special. I guess that octuplets mom wanted to feel special too. Ha.

Warning here, I'm going to get real personal so if you don't want to know it, skip ahead. So, I was getting dressed this morning and OHMYGOSH! Do my eyes deceive me? No, that couldn't be. Is it? WHYYYYYY? Stretch marks on the underside of my left boob. Now, my chest has grown significantly so I guess I should have predicted this... maybe? So upsetting. Again, good one, God. But Mofabulous has already bought me belly butter so I'm going to smear that on. Just my left boob. But I better examine myself very carefully so that I don't miss anything.

Besides my great disdain for raw chicken, I've not cooked dinner since December and I'm totally looking forward to guessing what fast food Miguel will let me have for dinner tonight. Maybe that's why I'm expanding but not showing. Hmmm, I'll go ponder that one now.

Funny laugh ha ha

I don't know these people but I know I love this baby's laugh.

I bet these folks never thought they'd end up in a random blog.

-Megan

Ninja Fetus

Well, today I have to change the name of my fetus. Goodbye to Cletus, hello Ling Ling. Let me explain...

I had a doctor's visit today and the nurse wanted to find the heartbeat of the baby. So she put the doppler radar thing on my abs (lack of abs) and found the strong, fast heartbeat. Good to know it's still in there! But then the heartbeat went away. So she moved the doppler and found it again. Again, the sound went away. That fetus was either getting down (much like his mother) or practicing his ninja moves. It went a lot like this: thud-thud-thud-thud-swoosh... thud-thud-thud-thud-fwoom... thud-thud-thud-thud-spoosh...

While this was endearing and funny, it made me shudder slightly knowing that this small orange was already moving all over. What is Ling Ling going to do in 5 months, try out for the next summer Olympic gymnastic team? Or maybe swimming, since there is all that fluid in there. We'll see.

I enjoy my new doctor's office and the staff. I don't really care for the thin walls though- I didn't want to hear that loud lady in the next room talking about someone breaking her water... at least that's what I thought I heard. She seemed to be laughing a lot so maybe water breaking is the fun part of labor. *shudder*

The joys of the miracles of life...

-Megan

Here's my blog

I am Megan.

I tried really hard not to do this. I didn’t want to write more about life. I already write everything about my husband’s life (his car accident in November 2007, ICU stay, rehab, the loss of use in his left arm due to nerve damage- all brought on by his own fault), and now here I am writing about myself and this other life.

I am pregnant. What?! OMG, I am pregnant?! How did this happen? I charted it and took my basal temperature every morning at 6 am and noted my cervical mucus (yeah, mucus). That’s how it happened. And while I am glad to be able to have a baby, I am not as excited anymore unlike most people who find out that I am expecting. I am put out by it and a little scared out of my mind. I’ve seen pictures…

I had a request from a friend to chronicle this experience because she thinks I’m funny. She’s not a lonely girl, she had plenty friends, but for her to ask this of me… I couldn’t deny her this peak into my pregnancy. I’ll probably complain a lot. You don’t have to read it, I don’t care, but I’m warning that I may complain, cuss, shame my family, and act rude in general. Who wants to read about smooth pregnancies and rainbows and puppy dogs? The dirty stuff is so much more interesting.

Here's Miguel and I at Texas Stadium this weekend. I took him before they tear it down for good. Tear trickle...

-Megan