Due to something that happened last night, I think I will not be nominated for Mother of the Year 2009. I'm okay with that since I already got Wife of the Year 2007-2008. That was the period of time in which Miguel was so badly injured and life as we knew it changed. (I'm still so glad it was his arm and not a leg or worse!) A friend told me I earned a few jewels in my crown for the way I handled, supported, and cared for Miguel during those many months. I like to think they are big, shiny, colorful jewels, but I can't be greedy. I didn't even know at the time that I was doing anything of the sort; I just had to do what I could to get us through it. Anyway, I'm rambling and I have to explain why "becoming a mother" won't an easy transition for me.
Let me start with lately I have been telling my cat to stop meowing. He is so vocal. We never had a gray tabby in my family, always orange cats, and I don't remember them meowing so much. But this one... *eye roll*... he makes me crazy, especially while I'm "in the family way." So I know that if I can't handle his noise, how will I handle a baby's noise?? You mothers may think that it'll be different and I'll be able to deal with it, but that remains to be seen. So, yelling at the cat is one reason I'm not getting Mother (or at least Nurturer) of the Year.
My baby likes to rock and roll at night. I figured I'd try the one thing I hadn't done- sing. I have the worst voice, I don't even really sing at church because my voice is not heavenly, ha. So I lay there, in my bed, flat as can be since my back will ache otherwise, and I'm rubbing my stomach (which doesn't calm him, neither does gentle patting or belly shaking or pushing body parts back in) and I'm trying to think of a song to sing. I'm so not a cuddler/hugger/gentle person and I'm not singing those sappy baby songs. I don't even know that many, but I can only get so far with "Hush little baby" before I'm sick of it and realize I never learned all the words. So I'm thinking, thinking. And then a song I really like and know the words to pops in my head.
"The Night the Lights Went Out in Georgia" by Reba McEntire.
How appropriate is that to sing to a baby?? I mean it has a good lesson and storyline, but not exactly a baby song. So I'm done with that song, proud that I got it all correct, and he's still moving a little. I keep thinking of what's on my iPod but I realize unless I hear the song, I don't know the words at the moment. PLS (Pregnant Lady Syndrome) again. Then I get another country song in my mind. I DO know all the words to this one.
"Friends in Low Places" by Garth Brooks.
Ha ha ha ha, I can't help but laugh thinking of the image of me singing these songs to my unborn baby. Why don't I know any other songs?? Again, this is a song in which you can learn a lesson and who doesn't love to sing it? For anyone who is familiar with the live version of the song, I didn't sing the last verse where Garth says "... and you can kiss my ass." I didn't sing it because I can't quite remember how the verse goes except that line, really.
Two more I kind of tried were "Stay" by Lisa Loeb and "I Want it That Way" by the Backstreet Boys. I thought of Pink, who is not appropriate for babies and I just couldn't remember all the lines to "Indian Outlaw" by Tim McGraw. But I gave up at that point and figured if I was singing it in my head he could tell- I mean we share a body so surely he can sense what I'm thinking.
I knew those weren't the greatest songs to sing to my child, but it was my voice and touch (I rubbed my belly throughout the songs). And I tried to sing a little of some other songs I like that make me think of baby and happiness. I just made a whole CD of songs that are sappy or make me think of baby. And I didn't dare get my iPod because anytime I move I have to pee and I wasn't sure where my earbuds were, plus I didn't want to jostle the baby in case he was calming down.
I just now realized I could have sung "Part of Your World" from the Little Mermaid, or "A Whole New World" from Aladdin, but darn it I didn't think of it then. Or even "I'm a Survivor" by Reba. I shall try those next time; they're way more appropriate.
(There are a few songs I KNOW I won't have a hard time singing- Christmas songs. I love Christmas music and "Christmas in Dixie" by Alabama will be one of the first my little boy will hear. I'm excited for that.)
But at some point he took mercy on me and settled down. Then my restless legs kicked in. They get all twitchy and itch here and there. It's ridiculous. I just don't know what I am going to do when this baby comes out (something I very much want to happen) but what kind of person am I going to be if I'm already unpleasant and rude now? And that's pre-pregnancy. I've never been very social or outwardly loving or initiated hugs. I'm guessing having a little baby will change some of those things, but don't expect me to be gracious and pleasant too soon afterward. And don't show off your Mother of the Year crown and sash in front of me because sometimes I say rude things and can't take them back. Just try to be a quiet example for me and I'm much more likely to notice and follow suit.
And here are some songs I wish I'd remembered last night:
Chattahoochee by Alan Jackson
Moon River by Audrey Hepburn
All My Loving by the Beatles
The Devil Went Down to Georgia by the Charlie Daniels Band
I'll Take Care of You by the Dixie Chicks
Rio by Duran Duran
The Thunder Rolls by Garth Brooks
Carried Away by George Strait
Mmmbop by Hanson
I'll Be There by the Jackson 5
Cosmic Girl by Jamiroquai
Who Will Save Your Soul by Jewel
Only A Man by Jonny Lang
I'm Alive by Kenny Chesney
Rock With You by Michael Jackson
Sittin' on the Dock of the Bay by Otis Redding
Good Old Fashioned Lover Boy by Queen
Love's Divine by Seal
Superstition by Stevie Wonder
Papa was a Rollin' Stone by the Temptations
When the Stars go Blue by Tim McGraw
How Do you Like me Now? by Toby Keith
Africa by Toto
I'll work on learning some appropriate and calming songs, or parts of them, over the next few weeks.
-Megan, NOT Mother of the Year... yet
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